By fisherman’s huts
Where oysters were shucked
Sun’s rays warm my face
Wind rustles my hair
By pastel beach huts
Of lilac and green
Light flecks on water
Kids shout out and squeal
Laughter floats in from
The ladies who need
Flip-flops and sandals
To walk by the sea
Instead they stumble
Bare-foot over rocks
As afternoon haze
Curves on the far shore
Your hearse passes through the stone arch
Beech boughs reach in silence
Snow falls in flakes; ice halts the pond
You lay in rose willow
A trumpet howls the final post
Eyes wide; my breath is slow
Ready to burn into white ash
Drapes close around your tomb
In “My dad smells like pee,” the title describes dad’s biggest challenge during his illness. I chose similes and metaphors that described him; for example, he enjoyed tea in a china cup and was also a spiritual person. In earlier drafts, I enjambed the meaning of lines over two lines but the poem read too quickly. Dad was slow. I chose first and second combined point of view to show an intimate conversation between a daughter and her father. As Josip Novakovich mentions in Fiction Writer’s Workshop: ‘This is the type of POV combination… frequently found in love poetry’ which seemed appropriate (1995:111).
“The 18:11 from Cannon Street” describes my journey home from work. It shows irritation rather than anger. The rhythm mimics a train’s motion, but I also attempted to emulate the tempo of angry hip-hop lyrics, like Forget about Dre by Dr. Dre:
‘…But ya’ll think I’m gonna let my dough freeze
Ho Please
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees?’ (Young, 1999)
In “Last night he stood on platform one,” I used images to show loneliness, for example, the cathedral after evensong – when everyone has gone home. Searching through the poem for adjectives, I changed the title from “Last night he stood on the cold platform” to “… platform one” as coldness is described in the poem in the sixth line “his breath drifted in clouds above his head.” Peter Sansom in Writing Poetry states: ‘We are suspicious of adjectives… if you just had the right noun or verb, you wouldn’t need any at all’ (1994:50).
“A gin and tonic on the harbour” was written to show the happiness of spring coming to England. I wrote the draft of this poem in Whitstable watching English people enjoy the seaside and warm weather.
“The funeral” describes my dad’s funeral. I chose quatrain stanzas with alternating iambic tetrameter and trimeter to mimic Emily Dickinson’s poem Because I could not stop for Death:
‘Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality’ (cited in Sansom, 1994:91).
I hoped the meter would show the slow procession as the hearse reaches the cemetery and through the ceremony to the end as the coffin disappears behind the curtains. Once again, I chose first and second combined point of view to show an intimate relationship.
“What’s up now?” is a poem about anger. I used short lines and repetition to show this emotion. Also, I chose words that depict rage such as “red” and “slashed.” Mary Oliver says in A Poetry Handbook that the way words sound have an influence on the reading of a poem. Words that end with mutes (b, d, k, p, q, t, and c and g hard) stop the breath. Oliver says that ‘Shut up… is abrupt; it indicates… impatience and even anger… t and p are not softened… the mutes are the final brittle explosion of the word’ (1994:23). I chose words for this poem with mutes at the end, for example, shriek, lipstick, and spat to heighten the anger.
Bibliography
Novakovich, J. (1995) Fiction Writer’s Workshop.Cincinnati: F&W Publications.
Oliver, M. (1994) A Poetry Handbook. New York: Harcourt.
Sansom, P. (1994) Writing Poems.Tarset: Bloodaxe Books Ltd.
Young, A. R. (1999) Forgot about Dre In: 2001. Santa Monica: Interscope Records
The way that poems are laid on the page is important. The way a poem looks is important. Usually, they are single line spaced unless there is a good reason why not.
Punctuation is only necessary to guide the reader as to the writer’s intentions. I find this hard to understand and do. And it has to be consistent, but I cannot find the rules. Poems are not prose, and do not follow the rules of prose, but punctuation needs to be consistent. I will just do my best to understand what that means. And read a lot about it…
I have control over my lines and how I use them – and what words I chose at the end. This is something I struggle with too. Apparently, you can end them where the breath or meaning ends or you can take the meaning over to the next line to take the reader along which seems to speed up the poetry. But when I used long lines – the tutor said it was jerky and jumpy but not that it was wrong just that it did not make it slower.
Capitals at the beginning of the line are not used in modern free verse as they shout out.
Careful with metre and formal form as it is not as easy as it looks. Stick with free verse for now.
Tense – careful with tense – keep an eye on it.
The Old World
Charles Simic
I believe in the soul; so far
It hasn’t made much difference.
I remember an afternoon in Sicily.
The ruins of some temple.
Columns fallen in the grass like naked lovers.
The olives and goat cheese tasted delicious
And so did the wine
With which I toasted the coming night,
The darting swallows,
The Saracen wind and moon.
It got darker. There was something
Long before there were words:
The evening meal of shepherds . . .
A fleeting whiteness among the trees . . .
Eternity eavesdropping on time.
The goddess going to bathe in the sea.
She must not be followed.
These rocks, these cypress trees,
May be her old lovers.
Oh to be one of them, the wine whispered to me.
Prayer
Carol Ann Duffy
Some days, although we cannot pray, a prayer
utters itself. So, a woman will lift
her head from the sieve of her hands and stare
at the minims sung by a tree, a sudden gift.
Some nights, although we are faithless, the truth
enters our hearts, that small familiar pain;
then a man will stand stock-still, hearing his youth
in the distant Latin chanting of a train.
Pray for us now. Grade 1 piano scales
console the lodger looking out across
a Midlands town. Then dusk, and someone calls
a child’s name as though they named their loss.
Darkness outside. Inside, the radio’s prayer –
Rockall. Malin. Dogger. Finisterre.
Orkney / This Lifepoem
Andrew Greig
It is big sky and its changes,
the sea all round and the waters within.
It is the way sea and sky
work off each other constantly,
like people meeting in Alfred Street,
each face coming away with a hint
of the other’s face pressed in it.
It is the way a week-long gale
ends and folk emerge to hear
a single bird cry way high up.
It is the way you lean to me
and the way I lean to you, as if
we are each other’s prevailing;
how we connect along our shores,
the way we are tidal islands
joined for hours then inaccessible,
I’ll go for that, and smile when I
pick sand off myself in the shower.
The way I am an inland loch to you
when a clatter of white whoops and rises…
It is the way Scotland looks to the South,
the way we enter friends’ houses
to leave what we came with, or flick
the kettle’s switch and wait.
This is where I want to live,
close to where the heart gives out,
ruined, perfected, an empty arch against the sky
where birds fly through instead of prayers
while in Hoy Sound the ferry’s engines thrum
this life this life this life.
I remember
Joe Brainard
Quite amazing
It is a whole book of memories
Some boring some shocking
The memories are mostly no longer than a paragraph. Some only a couple of sentences
All the memories start with I Remember…
The sentences are written in prose
Howl
Allen Ginsberg
I loved this
I did not understand it all
But I loved the way it fell along the lines in rage
It reminds me of some of Patti Smith’s ramblings
112 lines long – but the lines go over 4 lines some times – indented on the next lines (2nd3rdetc)
3 sections – first mainly start with “who” – second mainly start with ‘moloch’ – third mainly starts with ‘I’m’.
Moloch means the biblical name of a Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice – Ginsberg means ‘the heavy judger of men’ – the power to give and take – a reference to capitalism which he was against (online references – Wikipedia and howl critical edition)
Third section about Carl Solomon a patient in hospital that Ginsberg met who was also a writer and wrote ‘Report from Asylum: Afterthoughts of a Shock Patient.
Out of the Dust
Karen Hesse
Supposedly a children’s poem but I loved it.
Full of images that just take you to the moments
I especially loved the first page describing her and her birth in the dustbowl on the floor of the house her parents lived in.
It is free verse
Like many different poems throughout the book but all about the same story of a girl born in depression USA in the dust bowl and a period of her life where she had many challenges.
It is a whole book with these poem sections that make up one large poem.
Hoot Tremble Baton Anxiety Damaged Weird Maverick
Bad Scar Slow Crevice Dilates Blew Struggle
Breathtaking Stamp Laugh Sprung
Muffle Warm Toasty Cold Freeze Ice
Pretty Beautiful Glamorous Sexy Homely
Free Prison Prism Closed Enclose
Bang Crash Wallop Bash Tickle Tap
Temple Home Office Bungalow Flat Apartment
A part from
Tart Sharp Zing Ping Juicy
Draped Melt Battered Snort Dark
Scarlet Plum Swell Smother Sweet
Five or six sentences in iambic pentameter
She fed her cat on caviar and lime
He washed his plates with sodden dirty rags
Under the table sat the anxious dog
The brilliant sky was blue with powdered clouds
My bed was made with pillows, sheets, and love
Ships rode the river up and back again
Pouring the milk upon my coco pops
Understanding faults coming home to tea
He interested her brother in law
Tomes written in half the previous time
Modern verse is spoken in double time
Poets pattern lines arduously now
Crewe Cannock Chase Budleigh Salterton Devizes
Budleigh Salterton and Cannock Chase Crewe and Devizes
Devizes Crewe and Cannock Chase Budleigh Salterton
Cannock Chase Cannnock Chase Crew Budleigh Salterton
Crewe Cannock Crew Cannock Budleigh Chase and Salterton
Mudeford Wortley Stelling Minnis Covent Garden
Covent Garden Wortley Stelling Minnis Mudeford
Wortley Wortley Covent Garden Stelling Minnis Mudeford
Covent Garden
Covent Garden
Stelling Minnis
Stelling Minnis
Mudeford Mudeford
Pour on water pour on water
Kendal Charnock Richard Bury St. Edmunds Otterton
Kendal Charnock Richard Bury St Ed
Bury St. Edmunds and Charnock Richard
Kendal and Otterton and Kendal
Bury St Edmunds and Kendal
Otterton and Charnock Richard
Amiens Lyon Pontoise Arles
Arles Amiens Pontoise Lyon
Amiens Amiens Amiens
Pontoise Lyon Amiens Arles
Lyon Lyon Lyon
Lyon Amiens Arles and Pontoise
Pontoise Lyon Arles and Amiens
Connection has been perceived between poetry and madness
Believed that the poet is specially gifted
Poets are slightly dotty
Poetry is a craft as well as an art
Depending on good observation and much practice
Read other’s poems with an intelligent and well-informed eye
This will increase your understanding of what they are doing and what can be done
Imitation is an important method of attaining technical skill
Read widely
Not just 20thand 21stcentury writing
Read first and foremost for enjoyment
Sample and taste and if you find something you enjoy read it again
Learn why you like it and how it is built
“Make yourself aware of the sounds and rhythms of a poem that catches your attention”
Originality depends on freshness of observation and the words chosen to convey it
Your own life with provide material for originality – that is the your own slant on life – is how it has happened in your life
How to read a poem
Skim through it to get an idea of tone and shape
Look carefully at title which might give an idea of the poets particular slant
Read again but slowly
Then read out loud – notice moods in the sounds
Good poetry does not approximate and needs no explanation. It stands on its own.
Words speak for themselves with understanding, associations and sounds
No two words have identical connotations
“words are sticky with association and history”
The sounds of words are just as important as their meaning
Formal form and metre has become less necessary
But sounds are used with rhythm just not formal rhythm
The exercises included working with
The rhythm of names [Crewe – Cannock Chase – Budleigh Salterton]
The rhythm of sentences [I’m sitting down to drink a cup of tea]
The sound of words [a sound of word may connect closely with its meaning – smooth – livid – slide – dawdle – hullaballo]
Sounds and breath [The lights begin to twinkle on the rocks. (Like a whisper)
The long day wanes. The slow moon climbs. The deep (long drawn out and the breathe after “deep”)
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends! (the end is decisive)
Serious Wool-Gathering 